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Microwave Massacre (1983)
Microwave Massacre (1983) A Slasher / Comedy / sexploitation film, starring Jackie Vernon as a cannibal construction worker who roasts his victims dead meat in his microwave oven. Plot Donald (Vernon) is a construction worker with a big problem: his shrew of a wife May (Claire Ginsberg) has started to only cook gourmet foods in a Hyacinth Bucket-style misguided effort to make themselves seem classier than they are. While his friends Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Phillip (Al Troupe) dine on simple bologna-and-cheese sandwiches for lunch, Donald is saddled with crab sandwiches and other cooking atrocities. To his horror, he discovers his wife has bought an unusually large Major Electric microwave oven, which makes the meals worse in half the time. After coming home drunk one night and getting into an argument with May, Donald loses his temper and bludgeons her to death with a large pepper grinder. He wakes up the next day with a bad hangover, no memory of the night before, and a growling stomach. He discovers May's corpse in the microwave and after the initial wave of horror passes, he starts to take it in stride, telling his co-workers that he and May separated. After work, he then cuts up May's body and stores it in foil wrap in the fridge. A running gag involving May's head retaining some sort of sentience is introduced during this scene. Looking for a midnight snack one night, Donald unintentionally takes a few bites of May's hand, and (again) after the initial wave of horror passes, he realizes it's the best thing he's ever eaten. He even brings some to work with him and shares it with Phillip and Roosevelt, who concur. He soon starts picking up hookers and using them for meat in his recipes. While cooking one night, Donald has a mild heart attack and goes to his doctor, who tells him of a pacemaker that was put in when he had some excess weight, but says he is fine overall. May's equally shrewish sister Evelyn (Sarah Alt) shows up, having not heard from her sister in some time. She finds her head, and is gagged with bread and thrown, tied up, in Donald's closet. Donald's lunches continue to be a hit with his friends, and he decides to cater an outing to a wrestling match with a new recipe he calls "Peking chick." When Roosevelt and Phillip show up to pick up Donald, they discover him dead on the floor of a heart attack, and some body parts in the microwave. They leave in horror and disgust, realizing what Donald had been serving them. Some time later, the house is up for sale and movers are taking the furniture out. A repairman examines the microwave and discovers a problem with the wires, commenting that it would be bad for someone with a pacemaker. We then zoom into the fridge, which opens to reveal May's head. Her eyes glow orange as the film ends. Notes *Jackie Vernon the star is a comedian / actor, mostly known for voicing frosty the snowman cartoon character. *Known for bad jokes, cutaway death scenes and stereotypical forced and extended nude scenes. *The Microwave is more of a conventional 80s huge toaster oven. Review Category:Movie Category:1983 Category:Comedy